Are you curious about the workings of the heart and you wanted to know why you love someone? Is love a mysterious emotion that you can’t understand and you’d like to know a bit more about it? Do you wonder why you can be with a seemingly perfect guy, yet you know that you don’t love him?
It’s funny sometimes how we can write down everything that we want in a guy – hair color, eye color, height, wealth, lifestyle, kind heart, no beard… whatever – yet when we meet the guy who matches each and every criteria, our heart just won’t get on board. We don’t love someone from LetmeDate.com just because it looks right on paper.
What’s up with that?
Love is a funny emotion that is hard to predict and harder to explain. Falling in love with someone can’t be scripted. Why does the perfect guy leave us cool and indifferent, while the guy who has all the faults we swore we’d never fall for wins our heart?
Because loving someone doesn’t necessarily follow the rules your brain sets down.
I recently heard a young teen ask how one knew when they were in love. She went on and on about her sweaty palms, thinking of him all the time, dreaming of him, feeling immeasurable happiness at the very thought of him, and this, to her, was love.
Yes, perhaps a beginning of love, but there’s often a danger of confusing infatuation, or a crush, with true love. What’s the difference? Simply put, a crush is based on very little information and is not as deep-rooted an emotion as love.
A crush is usually based on a cute face with a flashy smile and a bunch of qualities that we then imagine him to have.
True love comes from discovering that a guy is truly the person we want to spend a whole lot of time with. It’s the guy we want to talk to and the guy we picture ourselves spending our lives with.
I once asked my significant other why he loved me. While he was able to list off a few qualities, the true sense of his love was something he couldn’t quite put into words. It’s just that special feeling you have with someone that you know they’re the one you want to be with.
It is usually enshrouded with a deep and profound sense of simply being comfortable with the other person. Throw in a few common views on life, a strong physical and sexual attraction, and you’ve got all the makings for a truly loving relationship. Loving someone usually encompasses all this.
The fantasy hero to your romance might be six foot two, blond-haired and blue-eyed with a strong alpha male personality. He has a tender side despite his flaring temper and is romantic despite being a man’s man.
The man who truly has the potential to win your heart and make you happy in the real world might be only five foot ten, bald with a bit of a paunch, but with a killer sense of humor that always makes you laugh and he has a true understanding of the woman you are. This ends up being the someone you love.
Don’t overlook the latter as you try desperately to seek out the first. You just might be missing out on a great thing.